Re. woodworking book:
"Awesome!…it talks all about wood!"
-3/3
"Did I tell you that?…last night was our 50th anniversary, that's why we had to shoot Abraham Lincoln."
-3/3
"God!…do you ever think about the fact that Sharon Stone has kids?!!"
-3/7
"Google does not like sarcasm."
-3/9
A: "Deborah?"
B: "Yeah?"
-pause-
A: "Now can we talk about Scarlett Johansson?"
-3/9
Wistfully, re. Marilyn Manson and Dita von Teese:
"I thought they were soooo cute together."
-3/10
Re. Lily Allen:
"I like her as a poet, a publicist, and a career strategist."
-3/10
A: "What are you talking about, Tom?"
B: "That I hate my mom?"
A: "Why?"
B: "Ummm…television?"
-3/10
A: "Guess what, I just got my first west African --"
B: "-- Nigerian spam scam?"
A: "I'm so excited!"
-3/12
Re. spate of whale attacks:
"They're just sick of people. Across the board, cetaceans have given up on people, and they're done."
-3/13
A: "We went to Buca de Beppo with them."
B: "Eeeeeww, don't you hate that place?!"
A: "I had never been there before."
-beat-
B: "Well, don't you now?"
-3/13
Re. digital photo preview:
"It's actually not that bad. I look shocked, but not unattractive."
-3/16
"I'm tired of being fucked over in this city! I got no women, no band…all I got is two wily-ass kitties."
-3/19
"I'm dressed up -- I'm wearing purple and aqua."
-3/19
A (defensively): "I like V-necks!"
B: "I do too! But if you're a man...and you always wear V-necks...then you are a scumbag!"
-3/21
Re. Alex Trebek:
"Tom worships the guy. (beat:) 'Cause his English is, like, perfect."
-3/24
Straight man, asked if another man is attractive: "Mmmm…In my hypothetical gay, he's just not my type."
-3/24
Re. downtown L.A.:
"You can buy anything down here…a liver, a kidney…"
-3/29
"Dammit, I hate you Snapple!...but I love your facts."
-3/30
Saturday, March 31, 2007
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