September 2007

“That room was just a death trap, apparently…a purple death trap.”
-9/3

“Ohh, let’s not quibble about why the soccer ball was on fire…”
-9/4

“You don’t mess with Jesus and get on an airplane.”
-9/6

“It's not like 'I'm large and in charge', but it's like, 'I'm strangely shaped'.”
-9/7

"She's one of the more deformed...I mean, there are a lot of deformed people that work at the L.A. Times...”
-9/7

"I mean, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, that she's mentally ill-- she was so weird-- if she isn’t mentally ill, that's worse.”
-9/7

A: “Pierre is good, though?”
B: “Oh, he’s very good…he smells like maple syrup.”
-9/8

“…Like, the wife from The Commish, shoppin’ at Goodwill, bein’ all weird.”
-9/8

Re. “Midnight Train to Georgia”:
A: “This song reminds me of Designing Women.”
B: “Oh my God, that show was wack! That shit is weird!”
-9/8

A: "Is your grandma from the South?"
B: "No, she kept a big knife in the kitchen of her bar."
-9/11

"Right now, Mars is in Uranus. (laughter from coworkers:) Hey, I didn't name the planets. I would have stuck with, like, Pluto... and all the other Disney characters."
-9/13

A: “What is that?”
B: “I don't know! It's just my...animal face.”
-9/19

JENEAN: “I’m such a homophobe!”
-9/20

“I want to see some of these mariachi pants you found online!”
-9/20

“It was imperative that I lose right then…I’m blaming it on the Pringles and bratwurst.”
-9/22

“I think you’re insane and I think I love you…and I think I just died.”
-9/22

“You’re right. A gay son is the new purse dog.”
-9/24

Re. foreign DVD:
“Is it porn?…Is it sports?”
-9/24

“He is ejaculating all over that billboard and it sickens me!”
-9/25

“Michelle is involved?!...she's just an octopus!”
-9/26

A: “The Love Fest and the Gay Nudie Fest are both going on this weekend.”
B: “Ooohh!…when’s the Bluegrass Festival?”
-9/27

“Babies should be fat! I don’t trust a skinny baby.”
-9/27

“No, I thought that cart was a big fat clown!”
-9/27

“I’m not sure what’s happening but it looks like two of the dudes from Los Lobos are out there with some watermelons!”
-9/30

“Yeah…you’re gonna have fun with that MRI machine!”
-9/30

“And he’s ripped…not Carrot Top-ripped, but ripped.”
-9/30

“You are Harold and Kumar put together!”
-9/30

“Awww, you’re like…a hidden Japanese!”
-9/30

“I feel like that’s cheating, like, you’re even and prime…but you’re two.”
-9/30

“Your hair’s lovely…it’s…theatrical!”
-9/30