May 2008

"Oh my god. I just threw up in my heart a little."
-5/13

"Ohhhhh, man! Everybody's getting cysts!"
-5/14

Boss: "Ya want some garbage cupcakes?"
-5/14

"Well, tell your dad I agree with him. And I agree with you...your dad's slightly racist."
-5/23

"I just want to watch a double feature of Car Wash and...Beaches!!"
-5/26

Boss, suddenly bursting into song: "Sex blogger from Aus-tra-li-a!!"
-5/27

"Should I just let people pee on my grave at my funeral?"
-5/28

Re. Ashlee Simpson:
"My problem with Pete Wentz marrying her is...do people not have abortions anymore?"
-5/29

A: "Are you going to read the Bible this summer?"
B: "No. But I may read Watership Down."
-5/29