Friday, September 18, 2009

September 2009

Boss, on a study that showed monkeys enjoy listening to Metallica: "Don't be so surprised, bitch! Hundred million records sold!"
-9/2

"I am so sick of vampires."
-9/8

"Wow, I never realized how close the words 'pig' and 'pug' are."
-9/12

"All I smell right now is the sizzle...I'm smelling the sound of the sizzle."
-9/12

"Yeah, it looks like it would just die from smallness."
-9/12

"I got licked by a retard."
-9/12

"Do you know pathological liar fags?...No! They're lesbians!"
-9/25

"I like terrorists with snappy names. Zazi!"
-9/29

August 2009

A: "Are they hippie bells?"
B: "Sorta...I think they're Tibetan."
-8/1

"Well, I do know where you live...and I want to see your rat run around in that ball."
-8/3

Boss: "Ooohh!...It's National Breastfeeding Month!"
-8/5

"Oh shit! I forgot to read the Bible yesterday!"
-8/24

Boss, on inventing a fake obituary for himself: "Wouldn't that be great? Racist, hateful...a little dirty..."
-8/27