June 2008

Boss: "I consider this shirt to be a bad decision."
-6/6

"The Gay at work is now obsessed with Ann Boleyn."
-6/7

"Well, I've learned my lesson. No more lady shoes."
-6/8

"That looks like a dragon fellating itself!"
-6/8

"Don't be scared! It's not my fault you have a toe-thumb."
-6/8

"Man, I want some air conditioning and oysters."
-6/8

"I mean, I have nothing but respect for those people but...eff them!"
-6/12

"For an hour I'm going to do nothing but urinate. And then?...five minutes of blogging."
-6/12

A: "He's Asian."
B: "I know. But he's abnormally Asian."
-6/14

"This girl's sixteen. (beat:) That's the problem with gymnasts."
-6/18

"He's in bed butt naked and the goat is eating his shirt."
-6/19

Boss, suddenly bursting into song: "Puttin' down that do-og, except it's a per-son!"
-6/20

"I love these new bathmats -- they feel so good on my feet. It's like I'm stepping on baby grizzly fur."
-6/20

"Yeah, it's interesting when you can see, like, 500 cocks in one face."
-6/20

"He looked like a kindlier John Malkovich to me."
-6/23

"I'm going to Tom Petty alone and Mini-Me's with a full-sized woman!!"
-6/25