Tuesday, April 21, 2009

April 2009

Boss, blowing nose: "What if I'm allergic to kitty litter?"
-4/1

Boss: "Can I drink on antibiotics?"
-4/3

An instant messenger chat transcript excerpt:
A: i kind of want to cry about that
A: it is so precious
A: they are so simple
B: yeah, dogs love bacon
-4/3

"Hello! I don’t need to know that you’re a divorced man and a part-time father!"
-4/8

"Could you please clarify? Is your son a bastard or not?"
-4/8

Boss: "If I go tonight, this will be my third Britney Spears concert."
-4/16

Boss in meeting: "You know, I'm just going to shut my mouth because I'm not really feeling that well?, and I'm on a lot of drugs right now."
-4/17

"Vegetables taste so good when you eat them of your own volition -- you know what I’m sayin’?"
-4/20

A: "She’s teasing you."
B: "Wouldn’t be the first time a teenage girl had done that to me. (beat:) On Facebook."
-4/20

Re. Montecito:
A: "It's old money and Oprah."
B: "Well, she's old."
-4/21

"Can I send a twit on Tweeter?"
-4/22

"Right, because we wouldn't know anything about Britney Spears...or about placenta sandwiches."
-4/22

"Baseball are the biggest dicks!"
-4/22

Man on the street: "I fell in love with this tree!"
-4/23

"It's just dusty, like...in the world."
-4/23

Re. Facebook photo:
A: "That's her other sister."
B: "Mmmm. (beat:) They do look Asiany."
-4/23

Boss A: "I do not have Swine Flu."
Boss B: "But I want you to have Swine Flu!"
-4/24

"Either she's a very strong woman or that's a tiny scooter!"
-4/29