-6/1
"All you people with your rapes!"
-6/11
"Well, not all cats are murderers!"
-6/11
"It's only ass-kissing if you think someone is above you."
-6/11
"You know what? All my exes live in Texas!...I'm a country song like you wouldn't believe."
-6/11
Re. a biracial friend:
"That's the thing, I've got twice as much racism I can spew on her."
-6/12
"It's scientifically freakin' me out!"
-6/16
An AIM chat excerpt, re. a dog recovering from illness:
A: he's great
B: yay!
A: as good as new
A: but half as bitey
-6/16
A: "I was thinking of you yesterday."
B: "Why?"
A: "Because the number-one astronomer is a black dude!"
-6/18
"Honestly, I have never had a good pickle in a deli."
-6/19
A: "You think skunky is sexy?"
B: "Can be. Can be."
-6/20
"A lot of cartoon nudity goin' on there!"
-6/23
"Does your mother know you're eating out of vending machines?"
-6/24
Boss: "I'm stealing a slice of somebody's pepperoni. Screw you."
-6/25
Mother: "Can you give me a kiss on the cheek?"
Twentysomething daughter: "No, you're being weird."'
Mother: "Please?"
Twentysomething daughter: "Fine."
Mother: "Your skin looks good."
-6/30