Sarcastically:
"What happened to your marvelous sandwich-making?"
-12/14
Child at Disneyland, re. Monstro: "Oh my God, it's an infected whale!"
-12/16
"Mmmm, bandwidth. That's what Santa can get me for Christmas."
-12/17
"I wonder if they sell knives on chains. (beat:) That's a good idea."
-12/21
A: "What's your New Year's resolution?"
B: "To act like a slutty tourist?"
-12/23
"I just said today I wanted to punch a kid in the heart."
-12/23
"You know what?, I have examined a lot of vaginas, and I still don't know exactly where the pee hole is."
-12/23
"Eww, this is gross: 'The Family that Plays Together'."
-12/23
"...about as sexy as a punch in the balls. (beat:) Unless you're into that."
-12/23
A: "What is it about your dad that you don't like?"
B: "Um...him."
-12/23
"You know what?, he is dogmatic, he is lazy...and he wears mock turtlenecks."
-12/23
"But you won't let people lust over your body when you go pee."
-12/23
"You should always have lust in your heart."
-12/23
"A) Who the fuck feeds a cat a hard-boiled egg?!"
-12/23
A: "We've moved to the sexy part of the night."
B: "Cats vomiting hard-boiled eggs."
-12/23
A: "What is that?"
B: "It's the fridge."
A: "Oh. (beat:) It sounds like a duck."
-12/23
"I'm not perfect. I own guns and like to do it in the butt."
-12/25
"Lasagna and strippers...it's your perfect day."
-12/28
Friday, April 2, 2010
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