August, 2006

"Okay, we need to, like, see Dave Navarro so I can confirm that I hate him."
-8/2

"I'm sorry you love him, Lindsay...I mean, that I don't like him."
-8/2

"Oh, I can't do it Wednesday. (dejectedly:) I have to go to the Improv."
-8/7

Re. Luna bars:
"I think they're too dry. (beat:) And then when I'm eating it I'm like, 'I wish this was real food.' " -8/7

"Well, I met one of his friends yesterday; A) his name was Cisco, and B) he was a doofus."
-8/10

"Well, I have two nickels and a penny, but I'm sure I'm gonna burp again."
-8/11

"Well, I'm doing a whole timeline. (disdainfully:) But I'm skipping the part with the actress woman, 'cause she was a wreck."
-8/14

"I've got goosebumps...and a hangover! Life is good!"
-8/18

On phone:
"I look forward to seeing you! I'll come home and wash the sheets."
-8/18

A: "...Dyke, right?"
B: "Mmm, I don't think so. I think she's just fat."
-8/22

"He's like Nic Harcourt, but for the whole world!"
-8/31