October 2006

"I'd lie for you, if you want…I'd tell Canada you were my acting coach."
-10/6

"I'm pretty scared of Smokey Robinson's face right now…you know what I mean?"
-10/6

"I think you should tell that music teacher to suck an egg!"
-10/6

"It was like, it wasn't even real, like my mind had manifested a child to heckle me."
-10/8

A: "Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?"
B: "No, I've just been chewing gum recently."
-10/9

A: "I want to be Kate Winslet."
B: "Really?...she has big feet, apparently."
-10/22

A: "Your freckles are really pronounced today."
B: "Really?"
A: "Yeah…maybe it's from all the NyQuil."
-10/22

"But it makes no sense, because it's marionette puppets, not wind-up dolls!"
-10/23

A: "I'm so embarrassed!"
B: "Lindsay (sigh)...we can't deny that we, like, don't have a broom."
-10/24

"Lindsay, you can't judge my level of gayness and then go see Eddie Izzard!"
-10/24

"Ummm…Melissa Rivers is here and I think she was born in an inferno."
-10/24

"…because it's, like, really messy in there and I saw that plastic hamburger on the floor…"
-10/26

A: "Did you really call your daughters poseurs?"
B: "Yes I did!"
-10/26

"My son, at three years old, considered the state of Florida an excellent handgun."
-10/27

"I felt threatened, but not so much by the ball of energy as by how fucked-up it was that I was seeing a ball of energy."
-10/27

"Well, it was like the one time I saw energy spiders!"
-10/27

A: "You love energy spiders!"
B: "Well, it's fascinating, because it's energy, you know??"
-10/27

Re. energy spiders:
"I was like, 'I know I should probably be paranoid about this, but I'm not gonna choose to be. They look cool.' "
-10/27

"So then I was like, 'Sweet! Energy spiders!...Man, I wish I could see you guys all the time.' "
-10/27

"Do you think his moustache is, like, a toupee?"
-10/27

"I was a Ghostbuster for Halloween. I made my backpack out of a baby carrier and a vacuum!"
-10/29

Re. the new David Lynch movie:
"It's like three hours of Laura Dern. I can't wait!!"
-10/29

"Uhhh…the dog peed on my boombox!"
-10/30

A: "Kelly…Kelly…these people are trash."
B: "Obviously!"
-10/30